I can best describe my feelings today by relating the following story by Emily Perl Kingsley.
When you're going to have a baby, it's like planning a fabulous vacation trip - to Italy. You buy a bunch of guide books and make your wonderful plans. The Coliseum. The Michelangelo David. The gondolas in Venice. You may learn some handy phrases in Italian. It's all very exciting.
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
After months of eager anticipation, the day finally arrives. You pack your bags and off you go. Several hours later, the plane lands. The stewardess comes in and says, "Welcome to Holland."
"Holland?!?" you say. "What do you mean Holland?? I signed up for Italy! I'm supposed to be in Italy. All my life I've dreamed of going to Italy."
But there's been a change in the flight plan. They've landed in Holland and there you must stay.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
The important thing is that they haven't taken you to a horrible, disgusting, filthy place, full of pestilence, famine and disease. It's just a different place.
So you must go out and buy new guide books. And you must learn a whole new language. And you will meet a whole new group of people you would never have met.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
It's just a different place. It's slower-paced than Italy, less flashy than Italy. But after you've been there for a while and you catch your breath, you look around.... and you begin to notice that Holland has windmills....and Holland has tulips. Holland even has Rembrandts.
But everyone you know is busy coming and going from Italy... and they're all bragging about what a wonderful time they had there. And for the rest of your life, you will say "Yes, that's where I was supposed to go. That's what I had planned." And the pain of that will never, ever, ever, ever go away... because the loss of that dream is a very very significant loss. But... if you spend your life mourning the fact that you didn't get to Italy, you may never be free to enjoy the very special, the very lovely things ... about Holland.
(The End)
(The End)
Today is Oliver's due date, and although I'm heart broken, I am trying to understand God's will, as well as all the beautiful things I have in my life. Things in Krista's life have always gone according to plan, but I guess it's safe to say that this doesn't always happen. Because of it, I am learning and progressing as I suppose is needed. And for that I am glad.
We love you Oliver!

12 comments:
You made me cry :) and made me think of my dad too. His dream was actually to go to Holland...haha. I dont know why but for some absurd reason he wants to go there. Maybe when he gets here I will take him to the Tulip festival :)
Thanks for being an example to me. I so glad you are my friend.
you said all of that so beautifully. you have been in my thoughts and prayers this past week.
Dearest, You and Steve are heroic and I love you both. Ethan too.
Krista,
I had no idea that yesterday was so important to you. You are a remarkable person and always an amazing mom.
I did remember that this month was going to be special and hard all in one for you, but did not realize that yesterday was that day! To both of you- our are great examples to me and I love you both! I will call you soon!
Those tulips are absolutely spectacular. You are a strong, amazing woman and I am so grateful and honored to call you my sister.
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and the Holland story. Your courage is very inspiring to me. We think about you guys all the time.
Love you Ru. You're always in my prayers!
You are such an amazing person! That story was beautiful, I love you Krista. :)
A cute lady in my ward gave me that poem after I had Josh. I love it - it puts things in perspective. What a blessing to know we have eternity with our families - what a great comfort. Just have to get through the crappy parts here. Please know I'm thinking of you and love you!
That story is such a wonderful analogy to parenting. I've recently taken a step back in parenting and reflecting and decided to approach things differently, appreciate Holland instead of longing for Italy if you will, and life has been so much more rewarding. Thanks for your wonderful example and friendship! You are amazing. Thanks for sharing your wonderful insight.
Krista,
I totally hear you on this one! I hope all is well for you and your family. Let me know how life is when you get a chance! Good to see your cute family!
love,
maria watkins phippen
www.denbighroad.blogspot.com
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